Mindful serenity: June 2

Today, June 2, we commemorate my mama’s death anniversary.  I was 19 when we lost her to a congenital heart disease complicated by hypertension and asthma.  She died at a very young age, she was just 44 then.  But, I know she never wanted to leave us…she never wanted to give up, but she was too tired to bear it anymore.  She was a gracious survivor, and I am so proud of her!

9 years without a mother… 9 years of missing that special feeling of warmth that only a mother can give… 9 years of longing --- your kiss, your touch, your embrace, your hilarious but sometimes irritating early-morning-nags, your sweet voice as you sing “The Gift” by Jim Brickman…just everything about you, Mama.  And, oh, how I miss that moment when you asked hubby to take care of me and to just bear with my tantrums.  You certainly know me a little too well!

Until I become a mother, I did not understand that all you ever wanted was only the best for me.  I know we will be together again one day, and when that day comes, I will hug you tight and tell you how I terribly miss you and love you, Mama! 

For now, I will just have to close my eyes, say a prayer for you, and imagine that you are always beside me, day and night, guiding me as I raise our little Garrie to be a faith-sharing kiddo.  And through you, may I never forget that motherhood is broader than biology, as cliché as it is.